Challenge #16: Who Moved My Success?

Dear peoples of the interwebs, let's get real with one another for a moment.

I feel like a failure all the time.

That's not me whining, that's just a fact, and I think it is for many people if they were really honest about it.


From my perspective, this has a lot to do with the fact that we have utterly no understanding of what the word success means as a society.

It's one of those things you think you know the answer to, until you actually think about it and realize you have no idea how to quantify or describe the concept for yourself.

I mean I think we can all agree that a guy like Steve Jobs was successful.

However, if leading a life that accomplishes just as much and to the level that Steve Jobs did is the standard for success, I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of society is doomed to failure for the rest of their lives.


I mean, in our society we have set up these ridiculously high expectations that we are constantly trying to live up to as human beings and usually failing at miserably. (hello Pinstrosity?) We can't all be Steve Jobs, because he's already been here, all we can be is ourselves.

But society tells us "we can do and be anyone and anything we want if we just work hard enough".

While this is an amazing and inspiring thing to tell the young children of the world, it is horribly stressful for their adult counterparts. This is because life just doesn't always work out the way we plan, circumstances change, things fall apart that shouldn't have, life happens, the most qualified people don't always get the job and we end up holding these deep seeded resentments towards ourselves for somehow failing at life.  Like it was our fault and we did this to ourselves.

For me this often materializes as me feeling like I failed the little girl I used to be.  She had all these big plans and dreams for our life and I somehow screwed them up for her.  What would she think if she could see how my life turned out?

But shouldn't our ideas of success grow and change along with us?  Isn't it ok to not have the same dreams today as we did when we were five?  Maybe it's time we start letting go of who we thought we should be and start paying attention to who we could be today.

The other problem I think that we have with understanding success as a society is the perceived longevity and permanency of our actions.

You hear about it all the time in places like Hollywood where if an actress isn't included in an issue of any magazine on the stands every month they are old news.  So people are constantly trying to pull publicity stunts to stay current in the public eye.  It's not like their previously filmed movies have lost their value suddenly, but somehow they themselves are suddenly less successful?

This is the trap I think a lot of creatives fall into if not necessarily in reality, for sure mentally.

We accomplish these great amazing things, build awesome projects but always feel like if we aren't doing something amazing RIGHT NOW, we are failing.

Somehow our success doesn't stick and it remains uncumulative which is a tragedy for society and especially for our own personal self esteem.

So this week your challenge is to get sticky with it!  Take two pieces of paper.  On the first one list out what you think success means to you, be as detailed as you like, on the second list out all the awesome and amazing things you have done since you've been alive.

We want everybody to have a clear understanding of what success truly means to them deep down.  When you actually sit down to think about it, you may be closer than you think to reaching your goals.  Lastly we want people to be proud of themselves.  You have done some amazing things and those accomplishments don't just disappear after they happen, they are yours to hold onto forever.  If Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, and then the next day drew a horrible sketch that he crumbled up and thew in the fire, does that make him a failure suddenly?  No.  Our success is cumulative and we need to remember that no matter how long ago something happened it still counts. 

So how do you define success? Leave us a comment below and let us know what you think the answer should be.

Your Creative Autobiography

“I believe that we all have strands of creative code hard-wired into our imaginations.  These strands are as solidly imprinted in us as the genetic code that determines our height and eye color, except they govern our creative impulses.  They determine the forms we work in, the stories we tell, and how we tell them. […] “I suspect many people never get a handle on their creative identity this way.  They take their urges, their biases, their work habits for granted.  But a little self-knowledge goes a long way.  If you understand the strands of your creative DNA, you begin to see how they mutate into common threads in your work.  You begin to see the “story” that you’re trying to tell; why you do the things you do (both positive and self-destructive); where you are strong and where you are weak and how you see the world and function in it.”

“Another thing about knowing who you are is that you know what you should not be doing, which can save you a lot of heartaches and false starts if you catch it early on.”

-Twyla Tharp

The past few years I have come to realize that I am not good at everything.  But more importantly than that, I've realized that I don't have to and shouldn't be good at everything.  For years I ran a business trying to force myself to deal with situations that my personality just wasn't equipped to handle.  I beat myself up everyday telling myself that I was a weak individual and that I just needed to suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, other people seemed to have no problem dealing with the smallest tasks that left me completely frozen with fear, obviously I was just a failure in comparison.

Eventually, I decided I needed to step back from the situation I was in as it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to deal with mentally and emotionally, which in turn was causing profound negative physical effects on my body.

At first I felt ashamed of my decision and like coward or some sad individual that just couldn't muster up the courage to forge ahead and get over the challenges facing her.  I felt weak, and broken and like I had given up.

However, as time passed something occurred to me that I had never thought about before: what if I wasn't supposed to be good at those things?  The idea was quite startling to me,  I mean there are whole seminars for how to improve yourself, "Become a people person in 9 easy steps", or "Introvert to Extrovert in one weekend".  Our culture is constantly telling us that we should and can be good at everything if we just try hard enough.

The culture we live in likes to focus on our failings, so we can IMPROVE ourselves.  They are constantly trying to barrage us with attributes they view as short comings simply so they can market a solution to our problems to us.  Did you know that nobody cared about body oder until somebody invented deodorant and needed to sell it? Nobody was interested in their product until they invented a shame campaign telling everyone if they didn't wear deodorant they would no longer be acceptable, or loved.

What if instead, we focused on our strengths?  

My husband recently finished reading the book "StrengthsFinder 2.0" for a mentorship program he is involved with at work and after discussing it with him I was struck by how similar it's concept is to what we are trying to do here this week.  The whole concept of the book is this:

"The most successful people start with dominant talent—and then add skills, knowledge, and practice to the mix. When they do this, the raw talent actually serves as a multiplier." 

-Tom Rath

He basically breaks it down to say that "hard work X talent = your level of success" so you can work at a 5 and have a talent level of 2 and you would get a 10.  OR you could have a work level of 2 and a talent level of 5 and still get a 10.

GET TO THE POINT KADIE, WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS ALL MEAN!?

I know I know, here the bottom line: If we focus on our strengths instead of our weaknesses and work on the things that are unique to us, that only we can says, it's going to be extremely hard to fail when any amount of effort is put in.  Our innate talent and passion multiply our hard work exponentially, so why do we sit around trying to copy other people?  We need to get to know who WE are as artists, get to know OUR strengths, OUR passions, so we can nurture them and watch them explode.

Now if you are stuck on this weeks challenge or having a hard time getting started with your creative DNA bubble map, give this exercise from Twyla Tharp's book "The Creative Habit" a try.  It might just help you get the juices flowing.

YOUR CREATIVE AUTOBIOGRAPHY

1. What is the first creative moment you remember?

2. Was anyone there to witness or appreciate it?

3. What is the best idea you’ve ever had?

4. What made it great in your mind?

5. What is the dumbest idea?

6. What made it stupid?

7. Can you connect the dots that led you to this idea?

8. What is your creative ambition?

9. What are the obstacles to this ambition?

10. What are the vital steps to achieving this ambition?

11. How do you begin your day?

12. What are your habits? What patterns do you repeat?

13. Describe your first successful creative act.

14. Describe your second successful creative act.

15. Compare them.

16. What are your attitudes toward: money, power, praise, rivals, work, play?

17. Which artists do you admire most?

18. Why are they your role models?

19. What do you and your role models have in common?

20. Does anyone in your life regularly inspire you?

21. Who is your muse?

22. Define muse.

23. When confronted with superior intelligence or talent, how do you respond?

24. When faced with stupidity, hostility, intransigence, laziness, or indifference in others, how do you respond?

25. When faced with the threat of failure, how do you respond?

26. When you work, do you love the process or the result?

27. At what moments do you feel your reach exceeds your grasp?

28. What is your ideal creative activity?

29. What is your greatest fear?

30. What is the likelihood of either of the answers to the previous two questions happening?

31. Which of your answers would you most like to change?

32. What is your idea of mastery?

33. What is your greatest dream?

Neil Gaiman: Make Good Art

Despite all our talk about buckling down to business, there is such a thing as taking yourself too seriously and losing track of what truly matters in the creative life. In honor of all the young enthusiastic artists about to be released from their universities this weekend, here's a commencement speech really worth paying attention to:

This entire speech is so amazing, I'd like to print the entire transcript out and read it before going to bed at night, and then again when I wake up in the morning -- but just for you, dear reader, I've paraphrased his ten main points.

1. When you start out on a career in the arts, you have no idea what you're doing. This is great.


2. If you have an idea of what you want to make, what you were put here to do, then just go and do that.


3. Do the work that excites you. If you do work you're proud of, then you have the work, even if you don't get the money.


4. If you make mistakes, it means you're out there doing something.


5. Having the ability to make art is a lifesaver.


6. Make the art that only you can make. Expose your true self. Take risks. After all, where would be the fun in doing something that you knew was going to work?


7. People get hired because, somehow, they get hired. But people keep working because the work is good, they're easy to get along with, and they deliver the work on time. And you don't even need all three.


8. Enjoy your success. Stop worrying. Let go, and enjoy the ride.


9. The harder you work, and the more wisely you work, the more lucky you will get - but there is luck and it helps. We are in a transitional world, and the traditional avenues for distribution are changing. The old rules are crumbling, and nobody knows what the new rules are - so make up your own.

But most importantly,

  10. MAKE GOOD ART.

Congratulations Graduates, and congratulations to the rest of us too -- today is a fresh new chance for us to launch out into the world, and make it better resemble the kind of place in which we want to live.

True Confessions Of A Guerrilla Artist

My oh so terrifying knit bomb...
you're terrified right?

The time was midnight, it was dark and clear and you could just hear the sound of the wind rustling in the trees.  I had scoped out the spot earlier that day; not a security camera in sight.  I threw my bag over my shoulders and crept along the sidewalk.  As I moved through the night, my black clothes helping me to disappear into the shadows, I focused all my will power on calming my racing heartbeat.  This was my first job, and as much as I had prepared, the thought of getting caught still nagged at the back of my mind.  I needed to get in and get out.  Right then a car came zooming up around the corner.  Quick as a flash, I leapt behind a bush, ducking out of site from the gleam of the car’s high beams.  “Idiot!” I whispered loudly under my breath. “If you had just kept walking like you were supposed to be there, no one would have noticed you!  But no, you had to dress in all black from head to toe and then leap behind a bush like a criminal… because that’s not suspicious looking at all.”  I got up, brushed the leaves out of my hair, and kept walking towards my target, an old lamp post in the middle of downtown.  Once there, I paused looking around the deserted streets. No one is sight, good.  Bending over my bag, I reached in and grabbed the long roll of fabric I had spent the last three weeks making just for this moment.  Unrolling it I held it up the post and began to stich it on.  The needle slid into the fabric, knotted against the back and then synched the two sides together as I pulled it taught.  A lump fell into the pit of my stomach.  As I continued stitching, my hands began to tremble and I repeatedly kept dropping the needle and having to spend precious moments finding it again.  How long had I been standing here in the open?  The seconds were pounding away in my brain.  Another car zoomed round the corner and before I could stop myself I had dived into yet another bush.  Cursing myself for my ongoing stupidity I crept back to my project and began to ferociously attack my piece, sewing up the sides as fast as I could get my fingers to fly.  Finally, after what seemed an eternity of standing there exposed, I slid the final knot into place, cut the line, stuffed my things back into my bag and got the hell out of dodge.  As I slid back into the safety of my vehicle, my body began to shake uncontrollably, my hands fumbling to much to even secure my seat buckle.   Back at home I sat motionless, curled up into the fetal position on the corner of my couch, as if half expecting the police to burst through the door at any moment and carry me away.  I waited.  Nothing.  My eyes closed, my body exhausted by the emotional and mental strain of the night sagged and slowly I drifted to sleep…

Ok, so maybe I’m not cut out to be Sam Spade or the criminal type.  I mean come on, if I can’t even sew some soft fuzzy yarn on a pole without feeling like I’m suddenly on the FBI’s most wanted list… maybe that isn’t what I should be doing.

The thing is I LOVE guerilla art.  I love street art.  I love the passion behind it and the way that it brings a message directly to your audience without them ever having to pay $5 to step inside a museum.  Instead of them going to the art, you are simply just bringing the art to them instead.  Have I mentioned how much I love this concept?

So what’s a chicken, terrified-of-breaking-the-law-girl to do!?  Turns out a lot!

"The Gateway"

"A Line I Made By Walking"

In my adventures to find my street art niche, I tried all sorts of things.  Some didn’t turn out so well… hence the aforementioned story, but some of them really hit home with me, the two most prominent being Land Art and Guerrilla Gardening.

After my total failure as a knit bomber, I had decided to try something totally different.  Instead, of exploring the urban areas around me like I had been, I began to really dive into the natural elements surrounding me for a change.  Inspired by people like Andy Goldsworthy, Richard Long and Patrick Dougherty, I began creating work from nature.  I would often spend hours wandering around in the wilderness just getting to know the land, waiting for it to say something so that I could respond in the only way I knew how, through my art.  The best part was, this work wasn’t scary at all, it was almost sacred in a way.  I had found my niche.  To See more of my adventures in Land Art and read more about the projects pictured above, click HERE, HERE and HERE

After months of working with sticks and leaves and dirt and grass and trees and flowers and water and mud and whatever else I could come up with I began to really ache for those urban spaces again.  Then one day it dawned on me.  Why not simply mesh the two together?  Fueled with my newfound passion for land art, I began to brainstorm ideas for how I could combine the two disciplines.  After some time, I decided on a project that involved something known as guerrilla gardening.

At first, I was worried that this would be another horrific repeat of my knit bombing experience.  Nervously, I gathered up my tools and supplies that first day and headed downtown, determined to face my fears.  The difference was literally night and day… for one it actually was daytime.  I also didn’t try to dress up like some sort of crazed ninja assassin this time either.  Instead I was simply in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, slowly meandering around downtown pausing whenever I came to a spot I wanted to work.  I’m not going to lie, the first couple spots I worked I was pretty nervous, but nobody seemed to notice me.  Eventually it became clear that nobody really cared what I was up to as long as I wasn’t going to be smashing windows or vandalizing their property.  As I continued working, my confidence grew and I became more and more bold with my work.  In the end, I created and documented 21 separate guerrilla gardening installations downtown. If you want to see what my full Guerrilla Gardening piece turned out like, or want to read the artist statement behind what I was doing, check out THIS LINK HERE.

The moral of the story is, figure out what works for you.  You have to decide if your fear is coming from a place of discomfort with the act you are about to perform, or if it is coming from a place of nervousness about putting yourself out there as an artist.  If you are uncomfortable about the act itself, don’t do it.  You don’t have to be like everyone else.  Because you don’t like something, or are uncomfortable with it, doesn’t make you any more or less of an artist than another person, it simply makes you unique.  When you listen to your heart and go where it leads you, you will find yourself making the work only you could have made in a way only you could have made it.  Art isn’t about being the coolest, or the most trendy, or the most daring person.  It’s about having something to say and find your perfect medium in which to say it, your way.

So experiment this week, discover who you are, what you have to say and how you can say it. Don’t let your fear of exposure as an artist keep you from having your voice heard!

Me hanging out inside one of my favorite land art projects "Gateway"

The Audacity of Failure

If you've visited our "How" page, you know that Tuesdays are inspiration days. This week, we're talking about the challenges faced by creative individuals, and how those challenges can lead into the Art Abyss - but also how they can lead back out, into greater achievement and more creative fulfillment than ever before.

As I sat down to write this post, one creative individual immediately sprang to mind as an example of someone who walked through the abyss and emerged thriving. The tired stereotype of the starving artist suffering in a garret is often used to discredit and put down people who choose to pursue a creative lifestyle -- I personally can't count the number of times I've been told by family and family friends that they "just hope I can afford to eat," or that "I find someone to take care of me." In J.K. Rowling's case, experiencing that very form of 'failure' was exactly the transformative process she needed:



Does this woman sound like a failure to you?? Me neither. Some of my favorite takeaway moments:

"I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive." 

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." 

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case, you fail by default." 

"Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way." 

"The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are ever after secure in your ability to survive." 

"Happiness lies in knowing that life is not a checklist of acquisition and achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life."

Can I get an AMEN?? Seriously, the faster we rid ourselves of the idea that failure is a bad thing, the better. I had a music teacher at my undergrad who demonstrated the concept perfectly. He set up a music stand so the wide flat part was parallel to the ceiling, then asked a class member to throw a wadded up sheet of paper onto the stand. The first time, the paper completely missed the stand; the second, it rolled off; the third time, the paper landed perfectly. Afterward, he asked her how she felt when she missed -- was she a terrible person, a failure and a disappointment?

Of course not -- it was just throwing a piece of paper. What he then went on to explore was why, when we are performing a piece of music, or creating a painting, or writing a poem, we suddenly lose that sense of perspective. Failing at the task we are attempting becomes something that reveals a deeper lack within ourselves. By extension, failure to "live a successful creative life" -- becoming the ignored and starving artist in the garret instead of reaping the financial and social rewards of artistic popularity -- can lead us to feel that we are not worthy of anything more, that we don't have what it takes to follow and succeed at our passion. Yet when you really think about it, how is a creative endeavor any different from throwing that piece of paper? You conceive of the idea, you give it your best shot, and if it doesn't work out, you try again. What's there to feel bad about?